How Many Buses Does It Take?

ME: Hello.
HIM: Hey, Javonnie. I know we have talked about how people look and stuff like that, well, I..hold on a second...well, I was waiting at the bus stop with this Hispanic woman. I wasn't sure the driver was going to stop. He did. As I got on the bus, I said to him, "you were not going to stop were you?" He replied..."Maaaan, you know how it is, if she wouldn't have been there I probably wouldn't have".

HIM: (as he continued) see, we have talked about how attractive women get doors opened for them that other, less attractive people do not.

Now, as I tried to control the temperature on the meter that manages my words when frustrated, I blurted out a firm, confident "I disagree!" (in the back of my mind I was wondering if he also thought she was attractive) As I continued to listen to him speak about his plans to incorporate this social psyhcoloy into his marketing plan by purposefully matching his clients with attractive people of the opposite sex, I understood his, and societies preoccupation with the shell of who we are.

See, we had had this conversation many times over and not until this time did it begin to rube me the wrong way.

As a person in an industry that judges you on your presence more than your talent, in the past, I have whole hardily agreed....but this time, for some reason, this time, I took his words as he spoke them to me...and took them as if he spoke them at me. I think I took personally his intent to use the very thing that seemed to hinder my progress as a woman in the industry, as a tool for his benefit. Yes, I'm qaulifying myself as attractive....we all should to be honest.

It was weird...words were exchanged, sometimes short and dismissive, but in the end the playful text of expressed appreciation for our difference of opinion prevailed, as always.

Do we, as a whole, treat people differently depending on how attractive we perceive them to be? Will a man hold open a door for a pretty woman and allow it to slam shut in the other one's face? Will a man stay with his girlfriend and put up with the unhappiness simply because she is beautiful? (well, the answer to that one is yes, my friends friend is doing that as we speak) Do we, as woman destroy our hairlines with weaves, blink through colored contacts and endure the pain of a manicure that cut into our cuticles simple to shorten our time at the bus stop?

As women, even the confident ones, we cannot deny that we like the way we look when we have that mascara on and our hair is right (me, I love a good lip gloss).....but after this conversation, I may just begin, if even subconsciously, to see how many buses I have to wait for...

Edified

Jai