zero to 100 in less than 10 minutes

So, I just got off the phone with someone in the movie industry who, in previous weeks has hinted to helping me with my vision for my company. By the second or third conversation, I was becoming less and less comfortable, and more an more agitated with our conversations. Not because I was doubting his credibility, but because I had to request he not refer to me as "this bitch from Portland" a few times while on three way conversations. His reply was "I was just paying, you know how ya'll call each other bitch". No...no I don't...I don't do that and neither should you...not with me at least...a few giggles from both of us as we continued that particular conversation....

So tonight, he called and asked me if my "white rapper" was creative. I said definitely...He was writing a movie with the possible lead being Adrien Brody...exactly! Who? I asked "who is that?"...and it was on from that moment on.

Him: He is an Oscar winner, he was in the Pianist?

Me: Oh..Oh yeah..now I know him.

Him: You call yourself being in the industry and you don't even know who the big stars in Hollywood are?

Me: I manage rappers, not actors. I have spent the past few years trying to learn what I can in this area...and besides, he was in Splice...which was horrible...why would I remember him? (I laugh)

Him: How stupid will you look if someone mentions an A list actor and you don't know who thay are...being in a conversation here with the big dogs, you have aot to learn.

Me: Ok...ok...hold on a second....tone it down a bit...not knowing is not being stupid...and you got bout one more time to disrespect me.

Him: Im just trying to help you out, but you think you know everything and don't want to listen. Movie soundtracks are a way to get your artist noticed.

Me: I don't know everything, and I am thankful for this opportunity...I told you the last time we spoke that I KNOW there is allot I still need to earn about how the industry operates. Remember? Thats when you told me I need to be more open to lying...(side note...he said if I am not ready to drop my ethics and morals at the door, I should consider another business) but I am uncomfortable with you referring to me as stupid because I didn't know who this particular actor was. You had to begin somewhere, and if you are trying to teach someone something by sharing what you have learned, assuming they know what you are trying to teach them, makes no sense.

Him: (and I quote) You disrespect yourself. You don't listen. You think you know everything and you are arrogant! So stay your dumb ass in Portland. I offered you the opportunity of a lifetime. For your artist to put a soundtrack on a Warner Brothers film with an Oscar winning starring and what do you do? Act a goddamn fool. Make sure you tell your artist how you blew it because I hurt your feelings. I'm sure that will make his day!

Me: First of all,and let me be clear, Id have to care about you for you to hurt my feelings, which I don't..calling me names is immature, which is the least of your faults. I definitely don;t know everything, but what I do know is this; people treat you the way you let them..and I'm not going to let you or anybody, for any reason, disrespect me. It is not in me to stoop to your level and toss back an insult... but don;t think for one second I do not have a limit....you have been warned...(slight giggle, sprinkled with some "Lord help me stay classy)

Him:Just don't forget to tell your guy that you blew it because pride comes before the fall

Me: I will surely let him know...and you know this nicca, I have enogh pride not to allow you to call me stupid, bitch or dumb..I would have never learned anything if I was prideful..but I do take pride in myself..there is a difference. Learn it!

Him: You're dumb..I dont have time for this shit (and he hung up on me)

This dude was able to push every one of my buttons in less than 10 minutes...after he hung up, I must tell you, it took everything inside of me not to call him back and remind him that he let this light skin fool him...

I don;t realy know what to think of someone who "goes off" because they are asked to stpo being disrepectful...maybe he is used to being able to get away with that kind of behavior, I don;t doubt it, but I warned him that I was not like anyone he had every dealt with before....I guess he thought I was a liar afterall...(smile)

It has been a while since I have bogged about anything. Not because I have not had things to write about, Lord knows the antics I deal with when I try to mix business with an associate that is constantly shifting in his seat while telling me how sexy me feet are...I have just been in my head alot about things...wanting to, needing to express them with someone, somewhere...so here I am...(smile)

I recenty had dinner with someone in the industry (first mistake, dinner means cocktails, means something in a small glass that makes you smile alot, means unexpected subject changes)and although it began with the obvious how are you's and how is business exchanges, it quickly became a lesson in the importance of a buffer. Trust me, I know there are a few different meanings attached to this title, so for the sake of clarity, with some patience and a little more reading...I will bless you with this clarity I speak of (smile)

Here is the scene...I am invited to dinner by this person and because I am also visiting a friend, I invite him to come along. Now in the front of my mind, I am thinking how this would be a great opportunity for an introduction of the two, but in the back...where all the smarty smart stuff lurks, I am thinking I may need a buffer. (theres that word again, but I pormise it will all makes sense) My friend declines to accompnay me (shame on him) and so I meet this associate for dinner...alone. Now I can't help it that my curls were falling just right that night or that my lipstick somehow seemed to be extra glossy, or that the glitter nail polish I had on my toes would inspire such a magnificent contrast with my red shoes (not "those" red ones...smile)

As I greeted him, we shook hands, exhanged how happy we were to be able to get together again, and we took our seats in the lounge. Now, in this setting...it was meant to be casual...those that know me know I love my jeans...so I was happy about that.

He asked if I wanted something to drink as he ordered his first one and a shrimp cocktail. I order a Shirley Temple (I don't drank) as we both looked at the menu. He suggested shrimp cocktail and since I had never tried it...I went with that to begin with.

General conversation went on as we waited for our order...then the order came. It was as if I had put down one book I had started reading from page one, and opened another one somewhere in the middle because within seconds, I had no idea where this particular story began and where I was in it. He took a large shrimp between his two fingers, dipped it in the red sauce, and offered me a bite.... I declined...too intimate for me....and plus, I don't know where your hands have been..He then said, "there is nothing sexier than a woman that will put in her mouth what you offer her"

Now, it took me a minute...but I had to ask myself..."did this dude just make a sexual reference?"..and then he confirmed for me...yes..yes he did as he followed that comment with.." can I jusy say, that I think you are a very sexy woman" In my oh so Javonnie way..I said, thank you, but I think I pale in comparision to the shrimp you seem to be fondling right now....do ya"ll need a room? He laughed as I stood and pointed out that the time had come where he is letting his last drink work his thoughts and in the spirit of keeping this business relationship in tact, I have to leave before it really gets uncomfortable.....for him!

Now, imagine this sane set up with a buffer. (my friend who declined to accompany me - shame on him)

More to come....smile

Little off topic....but it's my blog...smile

What is it when you can talk to someone about anything, have a great time doing nothing with them and you have an incredible, intense, unexplainable intimacy that only gets better with time. Is that compatability or chemistry?

You need compatability to be friends and chemistry to be lovers. You need both to have a best friend and lover in the same person.

Chemistry draws us back to a person even when we are angry. Friendship makes us glad we got over the difference. Mutal respect creates compatability..compatability nourishes chemistry...and sustains it.

Chemistry may not define a relationship or make a long term relationship stand..but lack of it can surely break one.

Chemistry is an illusive quality ,as difficult as it may be to define, it can be just as simple. Yet to some of us it canbe a mystery. If one possesses the ability to listen to their instincts, the answer is simple.....

But what if they are not listening....

Edified,
Jai

Why Me God?

More than a few times I have found myself feeling this inside if not bold enought to ask it out loud. It was not until today that I realized something. That although we look at people that come into our lives as people God had placed there "for us"...it is very possible that He place you there "for them".

God will often use our life to do something in the life of someone else. Our view is limited to our world. Our world revloves around us; effects us; allowing space for us to forget that we are not everything.

A great example of this is, when we are in a relationship and it ends, our heart breaks as we try to comprehend the "reason" for this tragegy that has be forced upon us, when in reality, it may not have happend to you or even for you, but in spite of you in order to help the other person.

Maybe you were the vessel God used to show the other person compassion, trust and love so as they move forward, they will know how to accept it the next time they are exposed to it.

We are not in control. God is. Life may not seem fair as we look exclusively at our situation, but God is always fair and everything He does is for good and He has a good result planned for you...not in spite of the pain you feel...but because of it.

So instead of "Why me God?" we should say..."Wow, me God?

Edified

Jai

How Many Buses Does It Take?

ME: Hello.
HIM: Hey, Javonnie. I know we have talked about how people look and stuff like that, well, I..hold on a second...well, I was waiting at the bus stop with this Hispanic woman. I wasn't sure the driver was going to stop. He did. As I got on the bus, I said to him, "you were not going to stop were you?" He replied..."Maaaan, you know how it is, if she wouldn't have been there I probably wouldn't have".

HIM: (as he continued) see, we have talked about how attractive women get doors opened for them that other, less attractive people do not.

Now, as I tried to control the temperature on the meter that manages my words when frustrated, I blurted out a firm, confident "I disagree!" (in the back of my mind I was wondering if he also thought she was attractive) As I continued to listen to him speak about his plans to incorporate this social psyhcoloy into his marketing plan by purposefully matching his clients with attractive people of the opposite sex, I understood his, and societies preoccupation with the shell of who we are.

See, we had had this conversation many times over and not until this time did it begin to rube me the wrong way.

As a person in an industry that judges you on your presence more than your talent, in the past, I have whole hardily agreed....but this time, for some reason, this time, I took his words as he spoke them to me...and took them as if he spoke them at me. I think I took personally his intent to use the very thing that seemed to hinder my progress as a woman in the industry, as a tool for his benefit. Yes, I'm qaulifying myself as attractive....we all should to be honest.

It was weird...words were exchanged, sometimes short and dismissive, but in the end the playful text of expressed appreciation for our difference of opinion prevailed, as always.

Do we, as a whole, treat people differently depending on how attractive we perceive them to be? Will a man hold open a door for a pretty woman and allow it to slam shut in the other one's face? Will a man stay with his girlfriend and put up with the unhappiness simply because she is beautiful? (well, the answer to that one is yes, my friends friend is doing that as we speak) Do we, as woman destroy our hairlines with weaves, blink through colored contacts and endure the pain of a manicure that cut into our cuticles simple to shorten our time at the bus stop?

As women, even the confident ones, we cannot deny that we like the way we look when we have that mascara on and our hair is right (me, I love a good lip gloss).....but after this conversation, I may just begin, if even subconsciously, to see how many buses I have to wait for...

Edified

Jai

Go figure, the world is small

So the other day, out of the blue, I decided to email a raw...and I mean raw track to the head of urban buying for approximately 800 FYE stores, just to get some feedback. Now, let me explain (back story)why I felt comfortable emailing a track to someone in this position.

It was about five, six at the most, years ago, when someone we had sent a few demo tracks to in Las Vegas contacted my partner and told him some encouraging news. He had let a few people in the music industry listen to the tracks and they were enthusiastic about the potential. (not until later did I understan that potential is not enough)

One of those people, was this buyer for FYE. This contact said he would pass on our information to this buyer, and as we waited, and the music we had presented them with began to evaporate before my eyes due to growth of the artists, I celebrated more than a few birthdays(yeah, me) and learned how to dye my own grays.

Jump ahead three years or so (approximately 2007)and on one of my many trips to Los Angeles, while sitting in my hotel room, wondering what that small stain on the floor was (eeww) I received a call from one of my new clients. He informed me that his friend, who works in a halfway house, is friends with someone who is friends with this FYE buyer, and he had made contact with this person. Now, mind you, he had no idea I knew who they were (oh, yeah, I googled them six years ago)so he was uncertain if this was a good connection to make. Now this FYE buyer is not just any run of the mill person in the industry. They have been in the music industry for over 30 years. Have worked at various labels as an A&R, and was even mentioned on both an Eminem and a Prince track. You can understand the "wow, this is only God" moment I had.

My client had their personal cell phone number, business and personal email addresses...and now so did I. I called them immediately, and was invited to email some tracks for feedback. I did that, got the feedback, which was very positive by the way, and asked them if I could meet with them on my next trip to California. I was relieved by the, "most definately".

Jump ahead to my next trip. I met this person at their office and talked about the industry and how they could help me. They said they would buy my artists' CD in their region once they secured distribution. YEAH!

Since then, three years now if you're counting, I have been in contact with this person for advice, to verify if so in so really works at Universal records as he claims (yeah, people lie about stuff like that...smile) and just to say hello. That is why I felt very comfortable submitting the new material to them for feedback.

Whew....so, to continue. The reply I got was something to the effect of, "I hate when I get asked to give feedback because I can only be honest, but in this case it's all good".....God is good, and although we need to have a completed project in order for this person to really do anything for us, we are going to celebrate every positive step even if we have to wipe some things off the bottom of our shoes every once in a while. They make travel sized baby wipes, just for such an occasion.

Edified,

Jai

The Book of Eli - my two cents (spoliers)

The Book of Eli – My two cents (contains spoilers)

This movie very cleverly is comparing and contrasting religion and faith, as they are two very different things with Denzel representing faith while Oldman represented religion. Faith will set man free while religion imprisons. Faith is relationship between man and God and religion is a political organization designed to control people. This movie illustrates the difference. I’m not sure this was a movie about Christianity, specifically because at the end of the movie, the Bible is placed on the shelf next to the Koran and other religious books. The book shelf scene is a pinnacle moment of the film.

Denzel represented all of us, metaphorically, blind to all around us, seeing only our selves and not what is truly important...Treat others better than you treat yourself. Faith can only be experienced blindly, that’s what faith is.

You can tell if you pay attention to the movie that he is not only figuratively blind but literally blind, if only partially. For those of you who didn't catch it the first time, go back and watch the movie a second time. Watch for all the things he does, and doesn't do. Ask me what I saw, and we can exchange lists…smile

There is nothing through the whole movie that he did that he didn't do blindly, figuratively and literally.

As for those who think his ability to sense things to be ridiculous, my first response is; it’s just a movie. Did you not notice the silky hair and stylish long cut, and, compared to others, the extremely white teeth on Mila Kunis? My second response is to tell them to ask a blind person to describe a sound or a deaf person to describe a smell...it is more vivid than any description a seeing or hearing person would describe.

Some have said to me that there was a lot of violence by the main character considering his was Christian. Did he ever once proclaim he was saved and sanctified…smile.

I thought it was a good movie even if it was a familiar plot. So far, the only people that have told me they didn’t like it are those who quite possibly missed much of message or maybe they feel convicted….smile

Clearly, my opinion…and my blog

Oklahoma here I come....Not

OK, so I chose not to travel to Oklahoma this weekend. I was unable to sleep as I fought with myself about a decision. I can understand why the Bible discourages being doubled minded. I assume this means having such contradictory thoughts about a single thing that it can only be described as having two minds. Man, the energy it takes to navigate from one mind to the other. Sometimes you get lost...and are just feeling around in the dark, bumping into a string of unrelated, distracting and consuming thoughts. How could I sleep? One mind wanted to give some relief to the eyes that burned while the other mind wanted to continue to write and rewrite the list of prod and cons.

Don't get me wrong. I yearn for the days I get to; wake up at 4am in order to arrive to the airport for my 6am flight that is delayed until 10am; fly from here to Utah to Sacramento in order to get to L.A.; sit in the middle seat after looking forward to sleeping on the flight; realize I should have grabbed something to eat because they don't feed you on flights any more.

Even with all of these wonderful things to look forward to (boy I love to travel)I still had to weigh the most important question of all. Do I want to use my frequent flyer miles on a ticket to Oklahoma? All I can say is I slept very well last night after making the decision to stay....

But, I'm not crazy...smile....There will be three of my artists' there (two flew out today) and my partner from California...just in case.

Should I stay or should I go?

There are only three days left before the party. I just returned from Cali last week and honestly I am not looking forward to a six hour trip this weekend.

As a woman in the industry, I often wonder if it's because of my wonderful insight, great conversation and strong intellectual presence that allows me to hold the attention of key players in this game....or could it be that I look amazing in my form fitting, tailored dress, ruby red lipstick and red, two toned heels?

It can really be exhausting because as a woman I feel as though I have to work extra hard. Not to prove my worth, but to keep redirecting attention to what is coming out of my mouth from images of what my mouth could be doing other than talking.

I have been shocked to silence (yes, I have been at a loss for words) if only for a split second, at some of the conversations...blatant conversations, I have had with A&R people...who, in their words, were just "being real" with me. According to this one in particular, I won't mention any names, either I had to be managing incredible talent, or suck a mean d*** if I wanted to get anywhere in the music industry.

Wow...for those that know me, I graciously handed him my sampler CD of my artists and told him he could either listen to it, or toss it like a Frisbee...but he will not stop me from doing what I set out to do. Give him a CD. I also informed him that unfortunately for him, he is not the person I need to be working with and no one has any control over my success but me (as long as I follow God's plan, that is)

That is just ONE example...as I look back, this has really been a crazy ride so far and as we move closer to the goal, I expect it will only get worse. But, no matter what comes my way, I will always be me. It may take me a little longer to get where I'm going, but I will get there....looking hot in my form fitting, tailored dress, ruby red lipstick and my red, two toned heels....morals in tact.

I will use this blog as a personal journal of my trip to success, and it will be a trip...but also as a learning place for those who are on the same or similar path.



Edified,

Jai

It's late...and I'm up...again

My mind is so full of thoughts and ideas that writing is really the only way to release them. Being a woman in the entertainment industry is hard. I have very few people I can really talk to, heart felt and absolutely none at this hour...smile. What would I say if I did find an ear? Not sure, really, but I do have so many thoughts rushing through my head. I guess what I would want..is just an ear. One that would allow me to take the time to sort the thoughts out....ans not rush me becasue they have other things to do, or thoughts of their own to sort out.

Well, my sweet tooth is yelling at me to get something..and although it feels like I mistakenly put lighter fluid in my eyes instead of "Clear Eyes" and leaned over an open fire, I think I will muster up the focus and attempt to stop the yelling....smile. I am positive this will not help me sleep.....

Behind every great......

A supportive partner can make a world of difference in your life. Rather than stand behind you, they stand next to you, as your equal.

I thus submit that if you find me a great man, by my definition he will have a great woman in his life. And great to me is not money or influence or the amount of horsepower in his vehicle it’s about so much more. It is about depth of personality, strength of conviction, confidence, compassion, and courage. (think back to King Leonitus in 300 - wink)

A great man commands instant respect and admiration. He has friends who go to battle for and rely on him, family members who are proud of him and work associates who like to be around him. But most of all, he has a strong and stable woman by his side to support him. (Queen Gorgo in 300)

Do you have that woman?

Does she lift you up when you need it and provide constructive criticism to make you a better man? Better yet, does she make you strive to be a better man?

Ask yourself these questions..

Is she loyal? You can give your all to a woman and inspire zero devotion in return. In a dispute with a mutual acquaintance or even a family member, her allegiance is suspect. A supportive partner is on your side no matter what, ready to go to war with you and take on whatever obstacle life presents.

Does she challenge you? Meaning does she challenge you to progress all the time to develop, grow and go out there and get what you deserve out of life. Not nag (ladies) but challenge.

Does she inspire you? She can inspire by her example or by her word, but overall, she motivates you to get better.Hand in hand with her capacity to challenge you, her inspiration factor is essential. Physical attraction is what may get you at first but over time, you need a woman who can make you think and reflect on a deeper level. This is what inspiration is all about. When you have it, you change for the better and develop wisdom you thought you never had.

Does she sacrifice for you.? Never expect her to do so but keep tabs of when she has put you first. When she rushes to be with you in your hour of need (or not), be grateful. You don’t want a woman who sacrifices herself, but makes adjustments to consider you.

Does she love and care for you? Love is not a descriptive word. For me, real love encompasses every point listed above. The basic point of my message here is to get you men who are blessed enough to have a woman in your life who demonstrates all of these qualities as well as shows affection on a regular basis with abandon and ease -to recognize the treasure you have.

There is no elegant way to phrase it: life can suck sometimes. When it does, there is no remedy like the tender touch of a good woman. Strike that. A great woman. (smile)

If you answered YES to these questions… congratulations!

And remember that in order for the equation to balance, you have to execute every condition laid out above for her as well. Sorry men, but it’s a two-way street.(smile)